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JANUARY 28, 2008
I've been having these sharp pains of self aware anxiety, like people are
looking at me, especially when I turn around to see that I am all alone. In
restaurants I think I hear people calling my name, when in fact they are
actually ordering food saying " I'm havin it", which sounds a lot like
Davinet if you say it really fast. I keep having these suffocating dreams
where I am all alone in a boat in the middle of a storm, with no water and
no voice to scream for help. Every morning for a week I have woken up in a
panic, I sit straight up in bed and go through the obvious checklist of
things that could be wrong as I count the length of my inhalations and
exhalations and try to slow down my breath and downgrade it's hurricane
status. I always come to the same conclusion that everything is in order,
nothing flammable was left plugged in overnight and I don't owe anyone money
( credit cards not included). This morning however I realized I had felt
this way once before, I was five years old and driving away from St John's
to go back to Labrador after the summer crying out " but my blanket, we
forgot my blanket!", even then I knew it had been left behind on purpose,
but still I was heartbroken. Now again as I prepare to put out my first solo
record in six years, I feel the same way as I did that day, alone and quite
chilly. Kim and I played in Saskatoon on Friday night and as always had a
great time, laughing to kill ourselves and even harder when no one else
does. The first time we went onstage as Shaye it was like coming home, the
comfort of not having to be all alone up there, having someone you love to
share the highs and the lows and the long drives with. So now I am getting
ready to go to the ECMA's and perform my record for the first time, the
thought of singing all alone leaves me excited and more then a little bit
scared. I've always found that the things you are most scared of are the
most rewarding, so I am hoping this holds true as I buckle down to rehearse
without my blanket and rip the band aid straight off.
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2008:
+ February 11, 2008
+ February 4, 2008
+ January 28, 2008
+ January 21, 2008
+ January 14, 2008
+ January 8, 2008
2007:
+ December 31, 2007
+ December 17, 2007
+ December 10, 2007
+ November 26, 2007
+ November 5, 2007
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