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December 17, 2008
Snowstorm, ah the excitement when you open your eyes, wipe the dust out,
lean up and look out the window and you can't see a thing but a completely
unexpected beautiful blanket of white. Visions of sugarplums, mistletoe and
big plates of turkey, dressing and broccoli casserole all dance in front of
your eyes. You crawl out of bed, put your feet on the floor and then whip
them off like it's an oven of hot coals, except that it's cold, subterranean
cold to be exact. As you lean over and grab a pair of wool socks without
touching the ground, you pull the blankets up around your shoulders and
skulk down the hall wall feeling for the thermostat. You go to put some
water in the kettle for tea, wait two seconds and realize the pipes have
frozen, yesterday it was 5.9 degrees and today the bloody pipes are frozen
and forget about going to a friend's house to have a shower - it'd take five
hours to go five minutes away the way people drive. There are two speeds for
winter driving and both equally treacherous, so slow you could pass them on
a unicycle and so fast they end up in a ditch stopping traffic behind them
for miles. But I've got somewhere to be, actually not just somewhere but
I've got to get to downtown Toronto to pick up my sister's wedding dress,
why I didn't do it yesterday I have no idea. I don't need to tell you how
"not good" this situation is, I have been given the responsibility of " The
Dress", the only thing almost as important as the bride and the groom
actually showing up on their wedding day. Women spend their whole lives
dreaming about " The Dress", they spend a ridiculous amount of money and
I've heard some people even name it. My sister, however, has been the
anti-bridzilla, calm, relaxed and graceful, so much so that she trusted me
to transport her dress home to Newfoundland. What was she thinking? I am her
baby sister, doesn't she realize the myriad of things that could happen with
that dress in my care, the tea spilling, the pizza eating and not to mention
the taxi cab or plane forgetting? If I mess this up I might as well never
come home again, so I am putting on the last layer of long johns, mittens,
hat and parka and walking there, I seriously would rather freeze to death
then show up without it. So here's to you, my big sister on your wedding
day, you are worth every frozen finger, nose and toe!
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